With this I feel a new level of acceptance and understanding for you today. A few years ago someone told me that if I kept apologizing for you and did not accept you for who you were, the world around us never would. I thought at that time that I understood what that meant but it wasn't until recently that I can honestly say it now makes sense. I should never have to apologize for you if you make a noise as a form of communication, if you have a hard time sitting still, or if you accidently bump into people because your balance is not the best. I should never have to apologize that you do not understand what it means to take turns, wait in line, or share a toy. I should never have to apologize for you being who you are, showing your personality, and growing everyday. I should never have to apologize as long as you are trying and learning on a daily basis and that we are consistently working on these skills.
You work very hard to make it through the day. To try to remember all the rules that you must follow, to try to communicate appropriately, and to blend in with those around you. Do other parents feel they have to apologize if their child is having a bad day or if their child is rude or demonstrates a lack of understanding? Do other parents feel the need to apologize when you are overlooked and left standing in the dust just trying so hard to keep up? The answer is no, they don't, they simple feel it is just who their child is and that their child is still growing and learning. Well, that is exactly what you are doing. Other parents feel that because you do not speak their language that you do not understand when you are mistreated or looked over but in reality you do understand. Other parents also believe that since you are the child with special needs that is enough of an excuse to be treated unfairly or you are the one to blame. In reality though, it is time society starts looking at the children who are supposed to be considered "typical" and not the child with special needs. You read people better then anyone I know and it is a skill that will carry you far in life but may also cause pain as you continue to find your way.
In all honesty, you do behavior better than most children your age. Given all of your areas of need you always ask permission, use please and thank you, try to console those who you are hurt and sad, and forgive those that have hurt you. You follow the rules, know your boundaries, and are aware of your limitations. You want to be friendly with all and do not judge those around you. There is a spark in your eyes that attracts many and draws people in, it is this spark that we need to continue to build off of.
So what does putting all of this into perspective mean? How do we grow and develop upon this? I hate to say it but I am not completely sure. I want the best for you and I know you have so much to offer those that will allow you. I do know that it means I continue to sit back and watch. I allow you to grow and develop and just smile at the child you are becoming. That I do not put you in situations where you are not accepted, that I try to protect you from the side of the world that will try to break you. You have already proven to the world once that you can survive anything and still come out smiling - it is now my job as your mom to create a path of acceptance and support. With this, you will continue to thrive.
Keep on Truckin Baby
Love
Mom
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