I will be honest, you caught me off guard. The child they had described on paper was not interactive, liked to play by himself, didn't respond to people, sat in the corner, and of course liked to bang his head. Ummm.. well, not exactly! You were a wild man from the moment Jenny and I met you and you have yet to slow down.
Your smile, giggle, excitment, and engagement pulled me in from that moment. The trip was supposed to be to decide if you and I were the right match. To decided if we would be the forever family - there was no question in my mind though. My social worker, friends, family, and anyone that had read your paperwork had warned me. They told me to meet you with an open mind and a closed heart. To really think hard about how your needs would affect my life and what I saw for your future. They were scared for me and for you. It was the unexpected. At one time my social worker wrote: "Here is the draft of the child specific part. Think this through carefully and be sure you're doing the right thing. Regards."
How though can you tell someone who is meeting her son to go with an open mind and closed heart. How can you tell a mother who is going to hold her son to think about the commitment and then decide after meeting him if they still wanted to have "this" child. I went into adoption not knowing what to expect. Knowing that there were no promises but doesn't every mom go into that when they find out they are expecting a child. There is no secret code for a child who does not have special needs, or a key to having a baby who doesn't need a little extra support. Why would adoption be any different?
From the moment I stepped on the plane to go Idaho I knew you were my son. I knew that no matter what we would work hard and just great each day of challenges with a new outlook. Meeting you in person and spending three days in Idaho with you was just a little prep-course and gathering a little more information before you would come home a month later.
The process finding you was definitely an adventure. Maybe my rollar coaster of an experience of adoption was just to prepare for the ride you put through daily. I will never forget though when I found out I was the lucky one selected to be your mommy. A client of mine and his family had invited me over for a traditional Indian lunch so I could experience their culture a little more and then I was to do a therapy session afterwards. As I was walking up the driveway a voicemail came through (don't know how I missed the call) from a social worker in Idaho. It was very short, basically they had met and I was selected and for me to plan my first trip. I then got a follow up email to give them a call. I will say, I have no clue what I ate for lunch that day or how it tasted, and the therapy session was the longest ever before I could run out of the house to call the social worker back and start to make my plans. The time had finally come. Three years after starting the adoption process I was going to met my son!
While in Idaho we were able to spend a great deal of time with you and also those who knew you the best (or thought they knew you). Anything from daycares to preschools to the foster home, and then just taking you out in the community. I think the community part is when Jenny and I both looked at each with an "oh shit" this is going to be a challenge. But never did I doubt you were coming home.
So baby, it was two years ago today that I first held you. That I promised you I would come back and pick you up, and that I started to prepare for our life together. Honestly though, nothing could have prepared me for what the future would hold, for how both of lives have changed, grown, and the experiences we have had. It has been an amazing adventure that I would not change a second of. You are my little Hot Mess and my son. I cannot wait to see what tomorrow bring and the years to come. I am so honored that I was selected to be your mommy.
Our First Encounters :
Keep on Truckin
Love
Mom
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