Changes A Comin'

Hey Baby

We definitely have our ups and downs. You decided this weekend would be another week to test mommy, maybe you knew the nanny was out of town or maybe it is just another wall coming down but you decided to test all weekend again. We made it though, the battles are much shorter, the days you test are further and further apart, and overall the changes keep on coming.

I don't know the best way to help you work through your past. To find a balance in life and to give you an outlet instead of us having our arguments. I am always looking for different activities for you hoping that keeping you busy will limit it but I also know that is not the long term solution. Some people say that play therapy might be a good way for you to work through some of the trauma of your past. It is so hard with your limited language to know and since no one even knows exactly what the trauma was it makes it even harder. I am sure you will be working through your past for the rest of your life, and, as time goes on, working through the ups and downs that you and I are having. I have been saying the last two weeks that I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. You have done so well, even with the tantrums, that one day everything will crash. This will be a step forward though, it will be a step in working through your trauma, a step in accepting your new life, and a a leap in to making progress for the future.

A week ago today after your bath time I turned to you and said "I love you" and for the first time, standing there in the hallway, bright eyed and curious you said "Wuv ew!" My heart dropped! Leaps and bounds from where you were three months ago and I know our bond is forever forming.

I had to pull you out of the private special education preschool. You were coming home with unexplained bruises and behaviors were going downhill way to fast. They were reinforcing all of your inappropriate behaviors and very little attention was being given for your appropriate ones. The final straw though was your back being bruised and scratched in multiple places and the school not knowing how it happened. You were the only student with at least four adults, how can they not know when you were injured!

We are already looking forward though - your typical preschool will start in just a few short weeks, your new nanny starts in two weeks, and hopefully we can find a few other fun activities for you. I am working on finding someone to work on running with you - you love to do it, I just have the motivation to do it with you and don't want to make it aversive. I have learned that I should not try to actually teach you anything but instead let someone else teach you and I will just practice it :)

Keep on Trucking Baby because more changes are a comin'

I love you