Ups, downs, and all the things inbetween. You learn new behaviors everyday - some of these are functional behaviors such as brushing your teeth, potty training, washing your own hair in the bathtub, putting on your shoes and even getting your own food and drinks. On the other hand though some of these are just pure and simple behaviors used for escape, avoidance, and manipulation. Yesterday you bit a therapist, learned you could leave the therapy room just as easily as you walked in, suck in air until you give yourslef the hiccups, and that sometimes it does hurt when you throw yourself to the floor. All of these though are growing pains. Stages you must go through and behaviors you must experiment with now in, before you get bigger, and a way to find your own. I also feel that there may be factors out of your control a little that are contributing to some of the not most pleasant behaviors.
Last Monday I took you off the Clonidine. As much as you were calm I finally realized that you were also sedated and some of your trantrums, at that time, were because all you wanted to do was sleep. So, on Monday afternoon, before your lacrosse game, I took you off the patch. Needless to say we learned a lot in the four days wihout any ADHD medication. First and foremost, you still need ADHD medication. I think if you could have attached yourself to the ceiling you would have and then found a way to climb through it. Getting up at 4 am and running strong until well after 11 pm - non stop talking jabbering, barking like a dog, not being able to sit still longer the 10 seconds and constantly running to the next part of your life. Even though all of these needs to be slowed down, we also learned a lot about you!
The spark in your eyes came back. Since you were not sedated your full personality really showed through again and even though there were parts that scared me as it reminded me of where you were when you came home a year ago there was so much laugher, happiness, and true pleasure in the house also. The tantrums were decreased and there was no longer a light switch going on and off in your little body all the time (not to say we didn't have a few moments). As I have said before, the world is not quite ready for you and all that you have to offer because you are such a little spitfire!
So, taking a step back and week off you and I realized we needed to find a happy balance between sedation and manic happiness. You need to be able to focus for longer then a few seconds in order to continue to gain knowledge, or show us the knowledge you already have :) but I also can't lose the spirited young man you are becoming. Where does that put us now? We are now trying Adderall XR. It is a stimulant ADHD medication that you will take once per day and will last till about 6:00 at night. You have been on it for 4 days and I see some positives and also some downfalls, I mean you did bite someone yesterday but I also know we need to give it two weeks before we go back to drawing board. Hang in their baby as we will find exactly what it is you need.
You are also on the gluten free diet now. I am not doing this thinking it will make you talk, take away behaviors, or change the little man you are but simply to help with constipation. This continues to be an everyday struggle for us, and I am sure in some ways impacts temperment as I would not be happy if I did not go for numerous days in a row. We need to go back to the GI doctor but I wanted to give this one full month to see if it made a difference. We are on two weeks and I do see some but nothing consistent yet and barely enough to write about.
Attached is a video of when I met you last April. Can you really believe I met you a year ago. That Jenny and I got of the plane in Idaho and walked into your daycare only to have you run and jump into my arms. You would run and want to be picked up into the air, touch our faces (you were facinated by my tongue ring), and then run back over to a mirror that was on the wall and laugh hysterically at yourself. You knew I was there for you - that we had a plan and life was about to change. We went from the daycare to a park where I quickly realized I needed to start doing a LOT more running as you would keep me on my toes and then back to your foster parents house.
The next day Jenny and I picked you up early and brought you back to the hotel for breakfast and swimming. I realized where more of your deficiets were -you know eating cereal in a bowl with milk using your hands and no spooon is a pretty good indicator of some of the hurdles we would need to overcome. Needless to say though, we all had a field day. From swimming to a house of bounce, to booking airlines tickets for your return home, and then off to lunch before we took you back to daycare. While we were also in Idaho I had the opportunity to see you in your school setting and talk with your teachers and therapists. I was able to start to form a mental picture of what services I thought you would need when you came home - none of these were exactly what I imagined but we are slowly getting all the pieces put together :)
After watching this video again who would have every imagined in less then a year you would be using the iPad like a pro to communicate your thoughts and ideas, that you would be not only on a lacrosse team but actually learning the game of lacrosse, starting swim lessons with your typical peers in two weeks, and honestly, just being the amazing little boy that you are today.
Well baby, heres to another day, another adventure, and to watching you continue to grow. I love you more today then yesterday Keep on Truckin Love Mom
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