April is child abuse awareness month and even though most of the world shutters at the thought of child abuse and those individuals who mistreat and misuse innocent children there is still not enough being done. I will be honest, I was one of those individuals where you hear the stories, you feel sorry for the children, and you question how anyone can do that to a child and why are the parents not in jail, but then you continue to move on about your day. We feel that there is nothing that one person can do to help, that nobody can adopt all the children who have been abused, and the social workers desks are backed up for years. Well, there has to be more we can do though. Even if it is just being aware and realizing the warning signs that a child might be being abused at home. Provided the extra few moments to not only listen to a child but also watch their emotions and their actions as these tell a story too. Volunteering our time as a Big Brother/Sister to local organizations or just educating those around us of the potential of child abuse and the life long effects of this.
I never realized the devastating and long lasting effects of child abuse until this year. I did always know that the emotional "struggles" or tantrums would be around and something we had to work through but I never imagined the effects in so many areas of development.
Emotional and physical abuse has impacted your language, social skills, cognitive development, emotional development, your understanding, and so much more. Everyday is a not only a struggle for you to take in the world around you but also exhuasting as you try to catch up on everything you have missed but yet are afraid to experience. Often times you will shut down, stop talking, afraid to make your next move or interact as a typical child your age would out of fear of what actions will be taken against you. This is an engrained behavior that will take a lifetime to rebuild and allow you to trust and have confidence in yourself and those around you.
A child who has been abused cannot be "fixed." There is no solution, not a sole therapy by itself, a medication, or plan, but instead it is a great deal of time, understanding, patience, and love. I myself was not necessarily blessed with the characteristic of patience but I am learning. I am learning that I have to sometimes sit back and wait for you to do it on your terms at your pace, that I have to wait for you to come to me, and I have to wait for each brick to slowly be moved out of the way. You allow us to see glimpses and moments of what lies behind these bricks and it is amazing - and as with many other things, the great things are worth waiting for.
If you had not been abused and neglected you would not be the child you are today. Maybe you would be talking, maybe your cognitive skills would be higher, and just maybe you would not have special needs at all. Also though, there is a chance you would not have the compassion, resilence, determination, and love for life you have today. You do not deserve the past you have had, the hands you were dealt, and neither do any of the thousands of other children. Adoption is not for everybody - especially the adoption of a child with special needs but everyone can do their part on become more aware of the innocent children.
I love you baby
Mom
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