Honestly I did not know that the word wonderful and school could be used by a teacher to describe your day. You have blown us all away in the last month with your progress in the school environment and just how far you have come. I have always known how capable you are but it has always been me fighting the system, nonstop meetings, and in the long run still no one seeing the side of you that I do. All this has changed though and I am overwhelmed with amazement and the possibilities for what comes next.
I look back at the past four years and wonder what has changed. What this school district has offered you that we were never able to find before. I fully believe it comes down to the dedication of the entire staff and them believing in you as a person. They have celebrated every success with you, waited for you to trust them, started each day with a clean slate, and most importantly accepted you into their small community. Your special education teacher has taken the time to learn what makes you tick and to read your emotions and behaviors. He took the time to develop a relationship with you not just look at your deficits.
We have always had wonderful people in our life to support you and to provide interventions or services but we have never been able to find this across the board. When we have had good support in the home we have fallen apart in the school settings or with therapies. When we have great therapies we still haven't had the school or the home support. Until now there has never really been a point where everything seemed to come together at the same time and all be working together versus being polar opposites pushing everything even further apart. Right now you have school, the community, outside therapies, home supports, and sports all working together and accepting you for who you are and where you are at today, not where you left of yesterday or who you will be in the future.
We have managed to make it over a month without a flashback and with limited self-injury. You are healing and growing. You are ready to step out of your box yet again and see what comes next. What used to set you off into a tailspin of behaviors is now easily redirected and rolls off your back. The wake up calls of night terrors in the middle of the night or the waking up in the morning yelling at yourself in a flashback are, for the moment, part of the past. Today you are happy, smiles, and giggling. Most importantly you are also naughty!! To most people being naughty would be seen as a negative but it shows me your level of trust and how comfortable you have become. You do not fear the ultimate consequence of your past anymore and are pushing the buttons one step further. It is yet again another developmental phase and one I am happy to see you go through.
All of this has allowed you and I to relax and enjoy. I still hold my breath most mornings just hoping we do not lose all the progress we have made but that will always be a fear in the back of my mind. I am learning to continue to let go and allow you to form these relationships and enjoy seeing you be successful with so many other people. Watching you being able to trust and bond with others continues to show how much emotional growth you have made.
Tomorrow is a new day and although I have no idea what it may hold for us I can not wait to find out.
Keep on Truckin
Love
Mom
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