The definition of fighter is a person with the will, courage, determination, ability, or disposition to fight. Fight is then further defined as any contest of struggle. You my young man are a fighter. Your will, courage, determination, ability, and passion have allowed you to fight and overcome many obstacles in your life.
Round One : Biological Home
It kills me to know that in your life you had to learn "awful" first. You didn't have anything to compare it to but you started in this world without the foundations of love and acceptance. You had to fight for the first three years to overcome abuse, neglect, isolation, drug exposure, filth, and the list went on. You used your common sense and knowledge to survive. You stole food from counter tops, drank water from a fish tank, and somehow managed to survive those first 3.5 years. You literally fought for your life and you won round one.
Round Two : Foster Care
From the age of 3.5 years to 5.5 years you fought to understand your world and surroundings. You had constant reminders of your past from those you saw daily. You didn't understand the words you were hearing and had no way to communicate what you needed and what you had been through. You slipped under the radar for too long for your needs which caused much of the emotional abuse to build. You remained the unknown and the ticking time bomb. You withdrew even further and fought against moving forward. You were not ready to let go of your past nor did anyone know how to help you. You literally fought against your life and honestly you lost round two. You were knocked down and many had given up on hopes for you progressing.
Round Three : My Little Hot Mess
This has been a long round with both of us being knocked down but we both seem to keep getting up again before the final count. The fight is different this time though. Our motives are constantly changing, or goals are growing, and we are evolving daily. Some days you are fighting against the system and trying hard not to grow. Other days you are fighting to take that next steps and prove to the world who you are. Many days I am fighting the world with you, knocking down walls for you to walk through with ease so that you can continue to progress. There are days though when we are fighting each other. When I am pushing you to the next step, setting your bar higher then ever before and accepting nothing less, and at the same time you are content with where you currently are and are fighting to pull that bar down. With all of this we have learned balance and how to tag team our fight as opposed to picking different battles. Round three is still on but for now you are winning.
This summer has been all about that balance and me learning to listen to you. You have taught me that when it comes to you making strides that less is more and your biggest gains are when it comes naturally and through your environment and play. You have found ways to tell me that 14 one on one therapies a week is not going to push you along any faster then 4 one on one therapies a week would and that you also need to be doing activities you enjoy.
Your level of knowledge and understanding stuns me some days and it is because I see this that I know I can step back. That when you are ready and when you have fought off more of the demons of your past and conquered more of your trust and relationship then others will see this. Any little boy that has the level of manipulation you do definitely has more going on upstairs then he likes to show :)
Round three is on your time, at your pace, and on your terms..... for the most part. As you continue to process the first two rounds, develop your language, and discover all that the world has to offer I know that you will come out on top. Your passion, determination, and will power has made you the strongest fighter that I know.
Keep On Truckin Baby
Love
Mom
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