Anxiety

So, the title of this is a little more for me then it is for you. My anxiety has gone through the roof lately just waiting for the other shoe to drop and scared to death for you to walk into the doors of school again next week. It pulls at me and intimidates me to hand over the control of your program, your behaviors, your life, and most of all your emotional security to another group of professionals, and ask you to trust them when I am not even sure I trust them myself.

Last week and this week you have been at a day camp at Lifetime Fitness since I have already gone back to work. Again, I took a deep breath, walked you in the door, and wished them luck before I closed the door and drove away. I was nervous though, a group of college students running a camp for an overwhelming amount of children that involves swimming, gym play, games, etc... And yet again, you shocked me and those around us. You have LOVED it. I love hearing your sweet "bye" and "see ya's" when I leave and how you run away while teasing me when I arrive to pick up hours later for you only to fall asleep within seconds of being in the car. Another milestone for you though because we all know you would not have been successful in this environment or participated at the level you are now last year.

On top of this, last Friday you spent the night away from home for the first time! I was in a wedding and so Nancy and Terry volunteered to take you for the night. Wow! The first time since you came home for you to sleep away and again, no issues. Who is this child you are becoming?? :) You never cease to amaze me!

Well, little man, the next stop is school on Monday and through all the anxiety, tears, and behaviors I know you can do it. I know you can put on your big boy pants and impress all those who do not believe. I feel that since we always try to educate and warn those of what they might see and how to handle the behaviors that we actually end up intimidating them and they lose sight of the big picture of who you are. If a group of college students can see you for the wonderful little man that you are then surely a group of professionals in the field can do the same, right? You have so much to offer and are so savey in your ways that people can't help but falling in love with you. We just need them to fall in love with you AND educate you. Hopefully I will also be able to step back, show you it is okay to trust and succeed, and we will be off to a wonderful school year. We NEED this to be a wonderful school year.

Keep on Truckin Baby
I love you
Mom