Everyday a new door opens for you. You seem to discover a new part of life and take great joy in your accomplishments. We have allowed you to open and close these doors on your own time and to communicate to us, in whatever language it might be, your likes and dislikes. It is time though that I need to start opening some of the doors. That I start creating opportunities for you and that I start finding different possibilities.
One thing is for sure - you do not fit into any mold or box. We cannot say exactly what your disability is except that you have multiple disabilities - the most important your emotional state. The more I watch you grow and develop and the way you acquire skills the more I realize that your own emotional wall will always be your biggest barrier. That you need an environment where you feel completely safe and secure being who you are and where you feel you fit in. Where you can trust everyone that you come in contact with and know that your past life is behind you. I will not be able to protect you in this way forever or keep emotional triggers away from you but right now, your emotional well being needs to be the number one priority.
Recently, school is not an emotional safe place for you. Something has happened and your actions show us you do not feel safe anymore. It could be as simple as someone looks like somebody from your past but whatever the reason may be it has greatly impacted you in that environment. So, it is time we look at other possibilities and that I need to discover all the options we really have in front of us.
I have always wondered if the public school system would be able to meet your needs. When you first came home my goal was to home school for at least two years. To allow you to trust and feel safe in the home environment and to also let us get a better idea of where you were and make up for a lot of lost ground. You quickly showed me though that you thrived off of your peers and you needed more interaction then a home school environment could give you. The private preschool had its ups and downs and so I took a jump and placed you in the public school system, I even then took a job in the public school system so I could give you more of the support you needed. But my gut is telling me this is still not the best placement for you. Your actions have told me this also. It is just a matter of where do we even start to turn to next for next year.
As I said, you thrive off of your peers so self-contained programs for children with disabilities or private schools only for children with disabilities are not an option for us. This means we are looking at private schools for typically developing children and then providing you with a shadow in order to support you behaviorally and academically. Lets be honest though, a lot of private schools are not going to be open to this option and they have that right not to accept a child with special needs, especially as demanding as yours can be depending on the day. We have a to find a school where you feel safe, where a shadow will be allowed, and where they will give you a fighting chance instead of just thinking you can't do it.
So, we will be opening new doors and discovering new possibilities. All of these doors are going to have their ups and downs and pros and cons but we will find you the right fit and the right environment where you feel safe enough to show the world all that you are holding inside of you.
Love you Baby
Mom
No comments:
Post a Comment