Reflection

ADOPTIVE MOTHERS POEM

Being an adoptive mother is not for every woman. She must possess not only the natural mother instinct but an understanding and appreciation of the situation that brought a child into her arms making her a mother.
The adoptive family comes to be by choices made, choices made by the first parents and by the adoptive parents. This bond the adoptive mother has with her child grows over time, like the child did within his first mother's womb. Day by day, touch by touch, with each tear, kiss, and memory made they became a family. Adoptive mothers have that special knack to let love grow.
The adoptive mother knows that she is a mender of wounds, not just of the physical skinned knees with a band-aid and a kiss, but of the heart. She gives love, acceptance, and permission to ask and talk about the day he was born and of his first parents. Adoptive mothers are embracers, not only of the child with many hugs and kisses, but of the child's heritage and history.
She embraces the facts of her child's past with strength for herself and the child. She's not only a memory maker planning family vacations, activities, and birthday parties, but also a memorykeeper. She's a tier of shoelaces and of hearts. She weaves lives together into a tapestry of a new family, with many different brightly, colored threads showcasing their individualities and family origins. Together they create one unit attached to each other.
Adoptive mothers are experts at finding lost objects, but understand and validate the profound, deep loss left by adoption. She allows the tears to fall and grief to be felt, allowing the mourning of the mom not there. She is secure in knowing that she's not a replacement, but a finisher of a race for someone who, for whatever reason, could not run any longer.
This role is not for the weak of spirit, or the easily wounded. Loving a child not born to her but calling him her own, but this is what she does, it is her calling. She is a mother.
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I try so hard to put myself in your shoes sometimes. To figure out where all the stubbornness comes from. To piece together parts of your past that I really don't have any idea of, and to create new memories for you even though I do not know what your old memories hold. Many times I have to step back and not only realize the progress you have made but realize why you may have your good moments and those not so good times. I work hard at not allowing anyone to accept less then your best and having those high expectations for you and even though they may know your past, it cannot speak for who you are today.

Today you are a bright, amazing child who captures the heart of those he meets. You sly smile and the sparkle in your eyes speaks more then words could ever say to who you are all that you hold inside of you. You truly have this gift that you can put a smile on people's faces and even those that don't know us will stop and tell me what a gorgeous child you are. This is not only because you are quiet the handsome little man but because you carry yourself and portray yourself in such a unique and interesting way with a sense of confidence in yourself and a fearless aspect of the world around you. You have a great determination, whether it be testing those around you or finding a way to get your point across, you are a survivor and that becomes more evident everyday.

You have fought to survive the first few years of your life in less then perfect conditions. A life that would have taken that pride and confidence out of many of us. Where you were locked in a room and denied the simple pleasures of life that help us form our personalities, likes, dislikes, and a sense of being. But yet, as you stand in front of me everyday you show nothing but love and desire to just live life. Such an amazing attribute for you to have that will continue to carry you far in life.

I love you baby and can't wait to see what tomorrow holds

Mommy