I love snow. I could stare out the window for hours and watch it fall from the sky. Maybe it is that no two snowflakes are alike or the way it moves in the wind. It is unpredictable, changes in a moment, and carries an impact when it falls. Watching the snow provides me an opportunity for reflection and is one of the few moments I stop and take a breath.
You are no different. When there is a fresh coat of snow on the ground your face lights up. You scream with delight and your entire body and intonation of your language portrays that of excitement. You run over to the snow piles and want to feel it, taste it, and experience it. Every time it snows I swear your reaction is such that you have never seen it before, but really, you sense the excitement and joy in me and it is a moment that we can share.
You read people. You survived by reading people and knowing which move to make next. When it snows I am sure you feel me relax and take a moment to enjoy. You stop in your tracks, look up at me and smile, and then point at the snow and start to jabber. You ewe and awe over it and giggle as you run through it. I cherish seeing the light in your eyes in these moments and the simple pleasure you experience.
Just as snow is unpredictable, changes in a moment, and carries an impact, so do you. I am not sure you will ever realize the impact you have had on me or those around you. You have changed me for the better and in areas I didn't know I needed to grow. You are able to put a smile on the faces of those around you, make the world giggle with you, and lift the stress off the back of others with simply a smile and a hello. You are able to not only transform yourself to a situation but also the attitude of others. There are moments where you melt and lose your form just a snowflake does within seconds, but your puddles do not last long. It is an opportunity for you to regroup and take on new shape and a new perspective. You are voicing your opinion and working hard to be heard.
You are not like any other person but instead a unique individual who has formed his personality over the years. We have tried so many different therapies, activities, and programs to find where you fit into the world. Recently I have discovered though it is not about you fitting into the world but instead you creating your own space in the moment. Your passion for music has helped you develop a sense of yourself and an escape when needed. Your love for books has helped you express your interests without having to use words. Your interest in animals has developed a calming sense within you. Your desire to create friendships and follow in the steps of your peers has helped you develop your social/emotional skills and provided you a community that only you could form when you were ready to trust. Your determination in swimming and gymnastics has helped you grow and create a sense of self-awareness.
I have hopes and dreams for where you will be tomorrow but in reality, you have your own plans. To me, you are unpredictable, change in the moment, and impact all those around you, but to you, it all makes sense. You have a passion, you have an idea, and you have the determination that continues to push your through. You have thrived, accepted the challenge, and grown into an amazing young boy. At times I have wished you had a voice to tell me about those desires and allow me to share in your dreams but then I realized you already have. You have trusted me. You have accepted me. You have communicated to me who you are today and where you are in the moment. Tomorrow is never promised and today we will celebrate all that you have become.
Keep On Trucking
Love
Mom
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