Happy Gotcha Day to the most amazing, spirited, determined, and passionate little boy I know! Wow! This year on "Gotcha Day" I am in disbelief that it has only been 3 years that you have been home for. In our day to day lives I feel like I have had you for an eternity, and most days I feel like we are racing a clock in order for you to catch up. Today I am reminded though that there is nothing you need to catch up to. That we are not racing any clock, that we have a lifetime ahead of us, and that in the three short years you have been home you have grown leaps and bounds on your time and at your pace.
One of my favorite parts of the last three years is even though you were already 5.5 years old when I adopted you I have been allowed to go through all your developmental milestones with you. Three years ago you were not talking, you were still like an unsteady toddler on your feet, the food groups were a novel concept, your idea of self-help skills was learned helplessness, and your emotions were as unpredictable as the changes in the wind. Three years ago our biggest battles were putting your shoes on to leave the house, somehow tackling you into a car seat, putting a muzzle on your barking, and trying to teach you that you hurting yourself was not the solution to the worlds problems. Three years ago, as much as I thought we had a path laid out and a direction to go, we were both completely lost.
Over the course of this time I have celebrated in your ability to run around on the lacrosse field with your peers and learn to play ice hockey without falling down. Yes, the little boy who had to sit down to go down the stairs and needed assistance to step off the curb was ice skating just this past winter. I have been amazed at your thought process and your desire to communicate. The little boy who could only say "go" and "no" is now telling me his favorite foods, animals, toys, and that more often then not that you do not like my cooking. That is, unless, I am making clam linguine, because that same little boy who didn't eat anything that wasn't in a baggie and crunchy now loves seafood, salads, and variety of other foods.
I have watched you discover that learned helplessness is not nearly as exciting as doing things for yourself. The little boy who was described in his original paperwork as sitting in a corner without play skills, still not toilet trained, and needing assistance on daily living skills is now making his own breakfast, telling me "wow" after he uses the bathroom independently, and would much rather pick out his own clothes and dress himself then allow me to do it for him. Oh, and those play skills? You have an imagination that puts me to shame any day! Play was never my strength and you now remind me of that daily as you play Lego's, action figures, dinosaurs, cars, and super-hero's. You can tear it up outside on a scooter and some how beat me every time in Memory. You continue to thrive off peer interactions, always wanting more, and somehow you never lose pace with them. Seeing you run around the neighborhood, playing ball, and hearing your giggle from down the street makes my heart melt.
I do not even know where to start when trying to describe to you how you and I have continued to grow together over the last three years. In reality, in the last 6 months your wall has not only crumbled but it has come crashing down when you are around me. Your level of trust, acceptance, and patience in our relationship has grown and this has continued to change the little boy you are today. As I sit next to you on the couch I no longer sense your tension and fears. When you talk to me things are not always a question anymore but instead a statement as you have found confidence in your voice. When we are alone your little smirk and spark in your eyes tell me you are up to something. These last six months have also been extremely trying as you need me to be your all and I want to be your all but I had to start looking at it this way. I was afraid I was losing you, that the behaviors were overwhelming again, but in reality you were reaching for me more then ever. It was your way of keeping me close and making sure I was always going to be your rock and that I am not going anywhere. Your emotions still have a level of unpredictability, but that is what makes you, you. Your emotions are part of your personality and what gives you your drive and determination to put one foot in front of the other every single day.
In the past three years I have watched you fall and get back up over and over again. I have watched you strive to conquer skills that may come easy to others. I have watched you try to figure out the world around you and find where you fit in. In the past three years you have grown from being the "baby" that was handed to me at the airport to the adventurous young boy who is ready for a new challenge. Your determination, spirit, hard headiness, and perseverance has grown into an amazing young boy who is ready for whatever tomorrow may bring. Now, I am not sure I am ready for whatever you may bring to me tomorrow but I can't help but smile as you just giggle and run away.
So, on this years "Gotcha Day" I just want you to know how so very proud I am of all you continue to do, all that you have accomplished, and all that you will do tomorrow. Each day is a new adventure in our life but unlike three years we are no longer lost. We are actually creating our own path, setting new standards, and conquering the unthinkable everyday.
Keep On Truckin
Love
Mom
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