So I guess I should start by telling you that math was never my favorite subject in school nor is it yours but I really do have a rationale explanation to this equation.
For all intensive purposes, with a little rounding, you were six the year I adopted you. You had spent almost all of the first six years of your life in the less the desirable conditions. And now, you have spent the last two years in my arms. So technically, yes, you turned a whopping 8 years old yesterday! I started to think that I could not believe you were eight and where has time gone....
Well, the truth is, in my eyes and in your own eyes you are not 8. Today, you are more of a happy go lucky three year old always looking for your next adventure and constantly finding new trouble to get into. As I have told you before, when you first arrived home even though you were almost six years old you really had the skills of a 10-11 month old baby. I had no idea what I was getting myself into and all the twists and turns our life would take. Today though, watching you bounce around me, your developmental age is more of a three year old and you are aging everyday.
So, in my world, in our world together, 6 years of life before you became my forever child plus two years of life with me equals an amazing three year old little boy! Which, lets be honest, means you are ahead of schedule developmentally!!! Since your life did not start until two years ago and the first time you experienced the world around you was just two years ago I am beyond pleased that you are overall on track with a typically developing three year old.
Now don't get me wrong baby you do have some skills that are well beyond those of your three year old peers and other skills that might be slightly lacking but what is most important is the little man I see today. You have a face of innocence but yet a look in your eyes well beyond your years. With everyone that works with you, you end up teaching them more about themselves and about the world they once thought they understood then they end up teaching you. What is amazing though is that you do this all without talking.
Some people may ask me how I know you have a sense of humor, how I know you are happy, or how I know that you are taking in the world everyday that you wake up and get out of bed. Simply put, once you see the look in your eyes how could someone not see all these things. You have discovered that it is hilarious to make animal noises at the most inappropriate times. That if you watch those around you long enough you can start to play games on them and just smile and walk away once you get their attention. That you pick people out of crowd who just need a smile to make their day.
The world has accepted you for who you are. People around us cannot help but smile when you bounce into a room and break it down with your beat boxing (against my better judgement), and more importantly people have started to see the spark right before you act upon a very thought-out high level of manipulation.
You have a giggle that echos and a smile that even you are in love with. You cannot get enough of watching yourself in mirrors and obtaining the attention of those around you. Your pretend play has exploded and your new best friend... yup, thats right, its Elmo!
Today I could not be more proud of the young man you becoming. Even though you fight the world on so many levels you have accepted and grown on so many others. I cannot wait to see what this year holds for us and how old you will be next year on your birthday.
Keep on Truckin
Love
Mom
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Your Own Worst Enemy
Yup, you are your own worst enemy. There is no other way to describe it or a way to sugar coat it. You fight the world with all the energy you have yet if you were to just let down your guard everything would come so easy to you. Don't get me wrong, I understand why you fight and that it is your natural reaction but I wish, just for one day, you would let yourself enjoy all of the world and show what you know.
I do not talk about school a whole lot. Obviously this is on purpose as it is not the highlight of your day, week, month, or even year. School has always been your biggest battle and the place where you feel the most insecure. The direct pressure of having to perform, to being on the spot, and to know that at times all eyes are on you is just too much for you. If it were not for the fact that you love peers and a part of you loves your teachers as much as you fight them I would home school you. There is still a part of me that is hoping, praying, that when you walk through the doors to school you will show them who you are and all that you hold inside.
This school year has started off no different then years past. The school not sure where to put boundaries into place - you running around like a chicken with your head cut off - and then you spiraling out of control from not having boundaries all day. Its a vicious cycle and this is the fourth time we have been through it. I had such high hopes that since you went to this school last year and you knew it was safe, that this year would just fall right into place. Yet again though you taught me to laugh at myself and that nothing will ever come that easy.
Before school started I made the decision to remove all of your academic goals from you Individualized Educational Plan (IEP). I wanted an IEP that focused on language, behaviors, and generalization of skills. I want you to learn this year that you do have to follow a schedule, stay with your class, generalize mastered skills into a group environment, and most importantly you have to use all the language that we work so hard on everyday. This does not mean you are not exposed to all your core subject matters and skills because as long as you are participating you are in all your main subject areas you will be part of the lessons. With this though, I also knew we needed more at home to find the balance.
So, you guessed it.... You now have 15 hours a week of ABA therapy primarily to focus on all your foundational academic skills. Lets just say you bucked the system the first two weeks and made your therapists earn their stripes BUT you all survived and now you are working your little butt off (or as you say "aaaaaass"off :) You have two wonderful therapists that you quickly won over with your smile and a subtle "hey" as you flirted but we all expect and believe in great things from you.
I pray that right now this is the right balance for you. That I am allowing you to shine in the right areas in the right environment and playing upon your strengths. I hope that one day you will feel safe and secure enough to show the world the little boy that I get the honor or watching grow up everyday.
Keep On Truckin
Love
Mom
I do not talk about school a whole lot. Obviously this is on purpose as it is not the highlight of your day, week, month, or even year. School has always been your biggest battle and the place where you feel the most insecure. The direct pressure of having to perform, to being on the spot, and to know that at times all eyes are on you is just too much for you. If it were not for the fact that you love peers and a part of you loves your teachers as much as you fight them I would home school you. There is still a part of me that is hoping, praying, that when you walk through the doors to school you will show them who you are and all that you hold inside.
This school year has started off no different then years past. The school not sure where to put boundaries into place - you running around like a chicken with your head cut off - and then you spiraling out of control from not having boundaries all day. Its a vicious cycle and this is the fourth time we have been through it. I had such high hopes that since you went to this school last year and you knew it was safe, that this year would just fall right into place. Yet again though you taught me to laugh at myself and that nothing will ever come that easy.
Before school started I made the decision to remove all of your academic goals from you Individualized Educational Plan (IEP). I wanted an IEP that focused on language, behaviors, and generalization of skills. I want you to learn this year that you do have to follow a schedule, stay with your class, generalize mastered skills into a group environment, and most importantly you have to use all the language that we work so hard on everyday. This does not mean you are not exposed to all your core subject matters and skills because as long as you are participating you are in all your main subject areas you will be part of the lessons. With this though, I also knew we needed more at home to find the balance.
So, you guessed it.... You now have 15 hours a week of ABA therapy primarily to focus on all your foundational academic skills. Lets just say you bucked the system the first two weeks and made your therapists earn their stripes BUT you all survived and now you are working your little butt off (or as you say "aaaaaass"off :) You have two wonderful therapists that you quickly won over with your smile and a subtle "hey" as you flirted but we all expect and believe in great things from you.
I pray that right now this is the right balance for you. That I am allowing you to shine in the right areas in the right environment and playing upon your strengths. I hope that one day you will feel safe and secure enough to show the world the little boy that I get the honor or watching grow up everyday.
Keep On Truckin
Love
Mom
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Hard To Remember
It is becoming harder to remember the little boy you used to be. I mean the one that I brought home on that flight from Idaho a little over two years ago. I remember thinking that you and I were now full speed ahead and you would suddenly wake up with all the language and skills you were missing. That all you had needed was a home and it would just happen. Oh how I laugh at that thought now! Yes, you did need a home, you do need unconditional love, and most importantly you need time. As I have told you before, you have taught me more over these years then I have learned in my entire lifetime and one thing you test me on daily is the concept of patience. Well, with all the patience and all the time you are starting to unravel just a little bit more.
Here is a video of you about two weeks after you came home. You used the words "mine" and then an approximation for "help" with the therapists prompting.
Here is a video of you about two weeks after you came home. You used the words "mine" and then an approximation for "help" with the therapists prompting.
Now, after two long years, the words are flowing. We still have to listen closely and some of the articulation is hard for you but you are able to use three and four word sentences, ask questions, answer questions, make choices, and most importantly express your likes and dislikes. Hearing the change in your voice between two years ago and now and how much you have grown and matured is absolutely amazing. Watching the older videos and then ones from today brings me back to reality of just how hard you work, how far you have come, and that tomorrow is always a new day.
Keep On Truckin
Love
Mom
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